The Birth of For Love & Babes
- Apr 6
- 6 min read
I had my second son in August of 2017. The birth was hard and intense, but he was perfect. Two days after he was born postpartum panic hit my mind like a tsunami. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I knew I was going to need support. I called my doctor, was prescribed anxiety medication that I didn’t want to take and got connected with a local postpartum therapist.
I tried herbs, acupuncture, saw a naturopathic doctor and took one million supplements. I couldn’t sleep and my brain was producing images and scenarios that were so scary they took my breath away. Nothing was helping.
I did reach out to a local mother who made herself available to meet for coffee, where she shared her own story of a postpartum mental health struggle. This was it! This was the missing piece. I needed to talk to other mothers who had experienced this. I wanted to hear their stories and take a break from living my own. I wanted to be reminded that I wasn’t alone in my torment, and to trudge side by side with other moms of newborns through the muck of postpartum healing. I wanted to celebrate how beautiful my baby was and simultaneously cry about how difficult each moment seemed.
I wanted a support group.
I am a homebirth midwife who cares for other expectant and postpartum mothers. I was resourced, educated and well-connected in the community… yet I struggled to find the intimate connections with other mamas that I so desperately needed. I was lucky enough to have friends and loved ones who supported me through that season, but a support group would have been invaluable.
Unfortunately, my story is not unique. Many mothers struggle through the changes their bodies and brains experience postpartum, and many struggle alone. Each year, hundreds of thousands of women navigate a postpartum mental health challenge- reminding us just how common, and how human, this experience is.
The truth is we are not meant to exist in solitude. We are meant to live and raise our babies in communities where we share the burden of challenges and celebrate triumphs together. We need villages to thrive, and arguably, to survive.
It was excruciatingly difficult, but I made it through my postpartum anxiety journey. I’ll forever be grateful for the love and support that I did have from the people in my life. My experience awoke in me a desire to take part in creating an offering that would have benefited me during my difficult postpartum period, and that could help others in the future.
My colleague, fellow midwife and friend Joy and I began talking about starting a new mom support group. Joy had done this before with another local provider and came prepared with a potential structure of how to run a group and some handouts that were helpful to us with conceptualizing a new plan.
In spring of 2020 we launched our very first “New Mom Support Group”. We invited every new mom we could think of, put up flyers and put plans in place to deal with the logistical difficulties of gathering during the Covid pandemic.
The group filled. We met outside in the park under some trees, socially distanced on blankets with hand sanitizer at the ready. It was amazing.
We wanted our group to be built on a foundation of against-the-grain vulnerability and authenticity. Our mission statement was simple but powerful: deeply listen to one another and share with intention and without limitation.
We spent two hours together, with the first hour or longer being dedicated to what we named our “weekly downloads”. Every woman in the circle got a chance to speak without agenda or expectation. She could talk about how celebratory her week was because her baby was sleeping better and nursing was finally feeling easier. Or she could cry about the mental load of motherhood that was drowning her and the sleep deprivation that was making her feel ill and out of body. She was witnessed and held by the collective energy and love of the group. She wasn’t given unnecessary feedback or advice… she was just allowed to show up and speak to what her reality was without judgment. It was incredibly healing and nurturing for everyone, including Joy and I as facilitators.
The second half of the group, if we had time after weekly downloads, we introduced a discussion topic. My favorite was, and still is, sharing birth stories. These are the war stories of women. Telling birth stories and all that goes with them aligns and unites us as women… as humans. There are universal experiences of anticipation, fear, pain, unplanned circumstances, mind and body-altering moments, joy, celebration and transformative change. These brave women share stories of fertility struggles, pregnancy loss, family struggles and a plethora of other vulnerable, raw and oh-so-real human experiences.
We watched these women bond, sharing their stories. We observed friendships take root, tears fall, embraces exchanged, and numbers shared—while, within this circle of community and love, women seemed to grow extra arms to hold and support their babies.
That first group ran for over a year. They experienced a lot together and grew into their own cohort community. Many of them still meet and do life together to this day.
Joy and I felt moved to start a new group, then another… and another. Other inspired people wanted to join us in our efforts. Thus, a team of facilitators took shape. Some of these women had been through a group and wanted to contribute to other mothers having the same experience. Other new team members sprouted from the community because they were already doing work that aligned with ours.
The groups became more structured too when we committed to eight-week sessions for each group. We went from one rolling group to eight-week sessions year-round. They all fill up. Sometimes we have a waiting list or make exceptions to squeeze in one or two moms who want to join an already full group.
Somewhere along the journey I felt strongly that our budding organization needed a name. I wanted one that encompassed not only the journey of raising babies but that also acknowledged the relationships and connections the women and families were making. I consulted the creatives in my life, scribbled in my notebook and googled logo inspiration.
The name and image came together organically, like the rest of the team and organization. Suddenly, from our efforts to start a new mom support group, For Love & Babes was born.
For Love & Babes is a passion project that seeks to build community for mothers, parents, women, children and the professionals that serve them. We still hold our eight-week Mom & Baby Support Groups, and we’ve added additional offerings stemming from the same passionate heart space.
* Our Village- A group for those trying to conceive or expecting a baby. Find support, encouragement, education and connection. Find your ‘Village”.
* The Long Becoming- A virtual conversation group for those mothers looking for connection and support beyond the first year… into the longer arc of becoming.
* Perimenopause101 workshops- A class designed to support and empower women through transition.
* Our beautiful Resource Hub for the people in our community
We charge for our groups now to keep the efforts of For Love & Babes sustainable. However, all those dollars go toward scholarships for those who need them, funds for women/parents in crisis, and compensation our passionate and gifted facilitators.
I’m humbled as I write this historical document blog. It is an account of how a dream came alive, carved out of my suffering and isolation and that of those who have gone before me. It is everything I wanted when my newborn son was in my panicked arms… It is all that I want for every mother that desires connection, community and love.
It is for the love of the mothers, for love of parents, for love of those who have mothered or long to, for love of women, for love of their partners and for love of the precious babies.
We are, proudly and humbly… For Love & Babes.
With all my heart,
Beka Blythe
Founder & Director
Comments