Maternal Mental Health Awareness

May is a busy month. May brings end-of-school activities, transition to summer, lots of birthdays and graduation parties, but it is also the month we celebrate Mother's Day and honor Maternal Mental Health.  

It is one of the hardest jobs in the world to be a mother. There is always a list and a mental load so heavy that it could take down a professional weight lifter. There is always food to prepare and clothes to buy and tears to wipe and life lessons to teach. In our over-busy society, there are sports, after-school activities and obligations to live life “to the fullest” on weekends. 

Then there are obligations to “take care of yourself first so you can take better care of your family.” Take your vitamins, exercise, eat right, see a therapist and don’t forget to get 7-9 hours of quality sleep at night! 

The recommendations we give mothers are mostly laughable and completely out of reach. So what is real? What is doable? What do we need to remember about our mental health while we’re raising our babies? How do we care for ourselves in a way that doesn’t also deplete stores that are running dry? What if what we’re lacking the most is connection to each other? What if we chose to see each other more? What if we chose to be seen?

1 in 5 mothers suffers from postpartum depression, which is the all-encompassing term that covers postpartum anxiety, panic, intrusive thoughts, etc. This condition, or better termed, experience of suffering, is so common that at least one of your girlfriends has experienced it… and survived it. Some women experience such pain that they don’t feel like they can make it through, and heartbreakingly, some don’t. 

Maternal mental health isn’t limited to the postpartum period. Mothers of toddlers and teens are also at risk of suffering, especially when early suffering isn’t identified or treated. After childbearing years, hormones start trending toward perimenopause. This next rite of passage also contributes to mental health struggles. Like the waves of the ocean, women ride the constant, varying tides that bring changes in their bodies, yet culturally we do not acknowledge this as though it is normal, to be honored and supported.

Many women just suffer in silence for fear of judgment or being misunderstood. Mothers fear that their experiences, if shared, could raise doubt about their ability to parent their babies. Care providers aren’t always skilled at recognizing the unspoken signs or screening effectively and respectfully. We also lack knowledge and understanding about the relief that can be found by coming forward with suffering to get support. 

By reaching out, mothers can find support through mental health care providers like therapists, psychiatrists and primary care providers who are experienced using tools that can help heal and offer stability. Being brave enough to ask for help can also result in finding community around a situation that feels so isolating. 

This is one reason we do the work we do at For Love & Babes. We believe that community and connection create healing. We know that support and acknowledgement of another’s suffering makes a difference. We do not believe it is ok for women to suffer alone. 

Our support groups create sacred circles of sisterhood, where we hold each other as mothers and as women. It is where we laugh, we cry, we weep and we hold our babies under the trees and talk about what we’re all facing… almost as though part of the same village. We believe that we are all riding these waves together, as it should be. Happy Mother’s Day to you, may you survive the business of May, and find moments of rest and connection, and may Maternal Mental Health awareness be on your heart. 

Beka Blythe

Founder/Director

Midwife

Wife

Mother

Survivor of postpartum panic & anxiety