Preparing for Postpartum: The Four Pillars

We prepare for birth like it’s a marathon. Reading books, taking classes, interviewing providers. But what we often forget to prepare for is the months and years that follow the birth experience, known as postpartum. 

Western medicine would have you believe that postpartum lasts 6 weeks on average. The 6-week check-up is usually the green light that “normal” activities and life as you knew it can resume. Bing, bang, boom. You had a baby. Good on you. Get out there. 

Cue an exaggerated side eye, toddler style.

Most birthing parents feel far from “normal” after 6 weeks. We’re deep in sleep deprivation, navigating bodily changes, shifting partner dynamics, and just beginning to poke our heads out of the house to see how the world has fared without us. 

Postpartum lasts far longer than 6 weeks. And it requires far more preparation and support than we usually allot to it. It is a time of excitement and dread, joy and fear, loneliness and overstimulation. It is a time of both and. 

And so, when possible, let’s prepare for both birth and postpartum. Your future self will thank you. 

When we think about postpartum, let’s deep dive into the first 40 days. Known as the Sacred Window in Eastern traditions, it is believed to be a deeply important time for birthing parents. In fact, it is said that if enough support and nourishment is offered to a newly born parent and their newborn baby during this window, a foundation for life-long health and wellness is built for them. This care can even reverse prior health conditions and create a healthier future than what was experienced pre-pregnancy. 

There are four pillars of postpartum to prepare for: 

1. Rest

2. Nourishment

3. Support

4. Connection

Rest is integral for physical, emotional, and mental recovery. We’ve all heard “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” And while that sounds lovely, and good on you if you did this, it’s not always possible for new parents. Our nervous systems are working on overdrive as we adjust to taking care of a tiny human and this is all happening in the midst of massive hormonal shifts. These are the largest shifts we will likely experience in our lifetime as some hormones experience a 100 to 1,000-fold drop in levels. 

Things to think about:

• Is my sleep and rest environment set up in my bedroom? 

• What are the things that would make it easier for me to rest? (eg: black-out shades, eye-mask, peri-bottles in the bathroom filled with herbal water, arnica on your bedside for that post birth “I’ve been hit by a car feeling”, tinctures for postpartum baby blues and/or cramps, hot water bottle for cramps, padsicles, etc.)

• Are there any meditations or deep rest practices I can listen to to help me rest?

• What fun books/movies would I like to read/watch from bed?

• Can my partner take my baby for a couple hours in the morning so I can get a few extra hours of sleep on my own?

Nourishment largely refers to nutritional needs postpartum. Making a human, sustaining a human, and the well-being of your own body all begins with the building blocks of food. If you can prep food ahead of time, do it! It’s incredibly helpful to have snacks and meals at the ready: less time on your feet, less time thinking and planning, which means more time for rest. Consider making a meal train and calling in the support of friends and family to help feed your family too!

In Eastern Traditions like Ayurveda, we focus on warm, cooked foods that are easy to digest and nutrient packed. Soups, stews, and oatmeals are all great places to start. Focus on healthy fats, protein, and complete carbs in each meal for blood sugar balance. 

Postpartum is ruled by the elements of air and ether in Ayurveda, meaning an emphasis on oily, healthy fats is necessary to combat the dryness of this period. The warming nature of our foods, complete with healthy carbs, helps to ground us in this incredibly ungrounded, disorienting period. It’s even recommended you wear socks and/or slippers (yes, even in the warm months) to help bring warmth and fluids back in the body by way of the feet. In simpler terms, don’t let the cold air in!

Hydration is just as important as food in postpartum. Make a large batch of a postpartum tea blend during pregnancy and sip it hot each day. A favorite midwife tea blend is alfalfa, red raspberry leaf, nettle, and oat straw. I like to add jujubes or goji berries to my blends for a boost of vitamin C. Plus, keep a water bottle with a straw next to your bedside table for easy sips through the night.

Support is key. It refers to the support people that will sustain you through postpartum. Most often, we have family and friends that want to help, they just don’t know how. Your job is to tell them as clearly as possible what that means. 

Reflect on your dream postpartum. Who is present? How do they help?

If possible, bring to mind 4 people that you can ask for assistance from. Friends, family, neighbors, and even hired help can fill this list. Examples of tasks they may help with are the following:

• Who can I call to talk about my day, cry, emote, or just express to?

• Is there someone I can ask to help care for my pets? Is there someone who I can ask to help care for my older children?

• Is there someone who likes to cook or clean and would stop by?

In Ayurveda, we say that a postpartum birthing person is like a house with no windows. Everything gets in with nothing to filter. It’s incredibly important to think about who you want around you. It’s ok to set boundaries with family and friends. It’s ok to say “Please help by dropping off food, but just leave it at the door, we appreciate you!”

Please also consider local resources and trusted providers that can support you through those specific postpartum needs. People like lactation consultants, bodywork specialists, counseling, and more are all available on For Love & Babe’s Local Resource Directory for the Four Corners Region. Peruse it and come back to it as needed. 

Connection is the last pillar. Connection to yourself and your partner will serve as anchors. Talk to your partner ahead of time and ask questions like:

• What do you need to feel like yourself?

• How can I support you in finding time for that?

• What do I need to feel like myself?

• How can my partner support me in finding time for that?

• Do we want to plan daily or weekly check-ins with one another?

• Do I feel comfortable expressing my needs? Can I strengthen that skill during pregnancy?

Wheww, it feels like a lot. Take your time reading through these pillars and reflecting on your own family’s needs. Each postpartum plan will look different and will change as your journey unfolds. 

Take care of yourself, go easy on yourself, and be mindful of your state as a newly born parent. You just made or are in the process of making a human. Go you. 

Alana Wilson is a local prenatal and postnatal yoga teacher, full-spectrum doula, and community facilitator. Find her work at embodied-remembrance.com.